The answer is 42

the world being taken over google style. "rumours mount over googles internet plan" read more about it here.
Technology, Technology news, Times Online

taking off on THAT article, my thoughts follow, Mr.Google please note this is just my creation and i own all rights to these ideas, and if you plan to use any of these you, i am ready to license these ideas to you on a per click basis.(i am launching mysense ad revenue sharing product)

i have the inside dope on the what the google wizards are working on for the future , these are a few of the essential technologies they are working on

a) hyper-drive - essential tool for delivering space travel at the click of a button, will be available as a beta download by the January 2010,
minimum system requirements: G-o/s (google-operating system version 12, patched for hyper-jumps), google space cube human interface hardware, memory requirement : enough to remember history of the last 2 millennium. disk capacity : latest adenine-thymine drives with atleast 240 strands of unused DNA.

b) positronic brains - why hire smart people when you can design brains which are built for one purpose ie. work on world domination by google. the positronic pathway are already in pre-alpha testing. the design document states,that, the positronic brains are not ment to be mobile and walk off from the Google headquarters, so they have skipped the robot exo-skeleton in the design. this is just the BRAINS. wonder if this will close the gates for bill.

c) "Google Guide to the galaxy" : they have already tied up with douglas adams descendants for royalties, they would pay 1 cent for every million copies of the guide sold. this will be the definitive guide to everything this and that side of "The Deep Web", the marketing department is working on a galactic release of "the Guide" (a few of you may have worked on a new tool recently, "Google earth" this is the precursor to the ultimate Guide, thank you for contributing your time in the development of "The Guide")

"Don't Panic: Google instead"

The answer is still 42.

in the beginning

I wanted to get a feel of how it would have been for a person writing the bible. since i was not there at that time, i thought i would kind of write something along the lines of genesis, but with what is happening currently in the world.
there is no disrespect/intent to anyone or anybody, and this is just an attempt at trying my hand at writing. man it is really difficult, as would see i start off with a lot of fire and than as it goes on further, you would see that i am kind of loosing steam.

well here goes nothing.

1:1 In the beginning Man created the DARPANET and the Private net.

1:2 DARPANET was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Man moved upon the face of the ip addresses.

1:3 And Man said, Let there be connectivity: and there was global connectivity

1:4 and Man saw the connectivity, that it was good; and Man divided the connectivity from the darknet.

1:5 and Man called the connectivity internet, and the other he called peer-to-peer. and the downloads and the uploads were the first day.

1:6 and Man said, let there be firewalls in the midst of the ip addresses, and let it divide the ip addresses from the ip addresses.

1:7 and Man made the firewall, and divided the ip address which were under(behind) the firewall from the ip addresses where were outside the firewall; and it was so.

1:8 and Man called the firewall dmz. and the downloads and the uploads were the second day.

1:9 and Man said, the the ip addresses under the dmz be gathered together unto one place, and let the approved ip's appear; and it was so.

1:10 and Man called the approved ip address static; and the gathering together of the ip addresses called he DNS; and Man saw that it was good.

1:11 and Man said, let the approved ip address bring forth browsing, the content-filter yielding seed, and the approved urls yielding websites after his kind, whose urls is in itself, upon the static ip's:and it was so.

1:12 and the static ip brought forth browsing, and the content-filter yielding seed, and the approved urls yielding websites after his kind, whose urls is in itself, upon the static ip's:and Man saw it was good.

1:13 and the downloads and the uploads were the third day.
1:14 and Man said, let there be valid ip's in the firewall of the dmz to divide the internet from the darknet; and let them be for proxy's, and for 404, and for days, and years;

1:15 skipping from here till 1:19
1:20 and Man said, let the flowing packets bring forth abundantly the moving packets that hath ip header info, and 802.11g that may fly above the earth in the open firewalls of the DMZ.

1:21 and Man created great operating systems, and every living pc that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind and every 802.11g packet after his kind: and Man saw that it was good.

1:22 skipping to verse 26

1:26 and Man said, let us make microsoft in our image, after out likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish(desktop pc user) of the sea, and over the datapackets over the air and over the sun's and novell, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

1:27 skipping to verse 28

1:29 and Man blessed them(microsoft), and Man said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the consumer of the operating systems, and over the 802.11g of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

I have seen the future

And it scares me.

Post reading the serious stuff in today’s news paper (the cartoon's lah), I turned to the crappy stuff which comes along with the news paper. Lo and Behold, what do I see?

I see a future which John Connor’s had. (Remember Sara Connor’s son? From the Terminator movies?)

Four bits of information has hit me today, I think I will take half a byte and make it into a blog.

One : the availability of a virtual girlfriend on a mobile phone
Two : a product called de Bono Thinking 24x7™
Three : work going on in the field of tactile recognition and force feedback
Four : the work Honda is doing on robotics

I can see that you are wondering as to where I am going with these little piggies.

With all kind of mergers and acquisitions happening around, at such an hectic accelerate pace I might add, how long do you think it will be before all these technologies belong to bill gates (or who ever else is there in the future) ?

When this happens, you will have an Asimo, running dBT 24x7™ having full functional tactile recognition system (with force feedback of course) and who talks intelligent.

This by itself is not scary, but envisage a future filled with such Replicants? You get it now?

Anyone remember the movie “Blade Runner”?

Anyone’s thoughts went to Isaac Asimov when reading this? And did the book “I, Robot” pop into your mind?

I hope the guys who would be working on the future “Replicants” remember the three laws.

There already seems to be dissent on the three laws of robotics.

I have seen the future and it works.

blog,search and get paranoid

googol is a number followed by 100 zeros, this by itself should have triggered of a paranoid reaction. who wants to know about such a big number, even gate's money is not measured in googol.

in the begining there was the written word. did it ever happen to you that a letter you sent or was sent to you, was never delivered?

then there was the electronic word. did it ever happen to you that a email you sent or was sent to you, was never delivered. there you were, sitting smugly on your arse blaming the spam filter.

i,due to my immense awareness, got by being continously one with the universe, have divined the essential truth about search engines and blog's. by the end of this note you will realise that mail was just version 1 of their project plan and does not warrent a serious discussion, as it was insignificant in the scheme of things.

Ah, the search engine,you think that you are using them to your advantange,for your own good? think again my simple minded simian sibling. this is what they WANT you to think.

THEY are recording and analysing everything you search for, if you have used a search engine at least 4 times by now, they already know how you think, what your desires are, and they know what you want to hide from other people.

if you have used it more than 4 time then even your deepest,darkest filthy perversions are know to THEM.

think about it, do you think they are giving you access to a search engine for free because they love you? no,no my innocent little child, they want to get into your mind, they want to steal your soul.

you have been blogged and logged,my online friend.

blogging is a natural extention to the search engine. why should THEY waste time analysing what you search, when THEY can directly get your thoughts and experiences, from you,you, who have been blissfully blogging your life out.

before blogging was made available people used to die and go to heaven. did you ever wonder why?

there is this huge complex of cross-relativity biological computers somewhere. (a technology so advanced that it it not even a twinkel in intel eye, and even i cannot comprehend its workings, one thing i know is that, it is not based on von neumann architecture).

dare i speak my mind out?

let me whisper my thoughts, out there somewhere in andromeda galaxy, is the ultra powerful computer running a complex algorithm which is extracting, refining and extrapolating our blog's , and building mirror images of us bloggers for "experiments". have you noticed that our life span have increased tremendously in the last 10-15 years? THEY dont need us anymore.

now you know that heaven is in andromeda, and now you know why people used to die and go to "heaven".(it was for the "experiment" duh!)

with the advent of blogging they have reduced the transportation cost of bodies, the guy on andromeda who invented the blog was nominated as the employee of the week and he was given a check of 200 andromedean dollars.

viva la blogging.

think before you type, for you know not where your thought can land.

Tread softly earth children

(This entry has been encrypted with a human DNA sequence, only genuine human would be able to read it, THEY would not be able to read or decipher the contents of this post, in fact this is one of the test which can determine who THEY are. If you see anything printed below this line then you pass)

THE END.

(The above is what I would like to call the sentry sentence or the second level of alien defence.)

The END.

It is my solemn duty to bring to the attention of all human kind that we have aliens living amongst us. By the end of this note you will have irrefutable proof of their existence.

Let me begin at the beginning, so that all of you fellow humans can understand my profound and dismaying discovery.

I have realized that all the movies on aliens, all the books on aliens, all that erik von daniken had written was true. It is only those few amongst us who have a highly developed sense of the unknown and true cognitive abilities, have intuited the state of affairs. All the humans who have intuited it earlier have been strangely been keeping quite. Is it that these humans are being threatened? I do not know.

I am compelled by my conscience that I revel what I know,for the greater good of human kind.

I shall just put down what I have seen and understood, you be the judge.

I had always wondered about this guy in the office he did not seem to “normal” as defined by us. He used to keep looking dreamy and he was always smiling, he was always happy, to top it up he used to be helpful to others.

I talked to him on a number of occasions around the office coffee machine, when ever he spoke I used to feel very uncomfortable, those ugly thoughts of his filled with unnatural feeling towards others. He talked of people being in love with everyone, helping everyone. A place were no fossil fuels were burnt, the air was breathable, no disease, no inequality. The worst thing he suggested was that all of us have the inherent right to remain happy through out our life.

He started quoting from some books; he used to call them Bible, Koran, Gita and a lot more books whose names I have purged from my shivering mind.

The final proof of this species living amongst us.

Do you recollect my first post(“Musing caused by a Raindrop”)? Tthe simplified theory of bathroom(life) usage states that if there is an option, two men would always like to pee with at least one free urinal between them.

This guy in the office always used to stand in the urinal next to me EVERYTIME, I mean every time. Even if the whole place was empty, he would choose the urinal next to me and be happy about it.

This is when it struck me, that there is something weird going on.It was worse than what I had thought earlier.

This was the last straw that broke this camels back, and I stopped being seen with him and I stopped talking to him. What would people say if they saw me talking to him?

I started observing other people more closely, and strangely enough I found similar sort of behavior among different people, I was now getting scared. There were so many people who did not mind peeing, standing next to each other, even though there were other free urinals.

“What is happening around here?” were my confused thoughts.

Fundamental theory of life (unified theory of peeing) states that

"NO HUMAN CAN STAND NEXT TO ANOTHER HUMAN AND PEE, EVEN THOUGH THERE IS SO MANY UNSUED URINALS IN THAT PLACE."

I rest may case.

I hope all of us humans can gather strength and group together and defend against the coming Wave of happiness, freedom, truth, love, equality, peace and other similar unnatural thoughts.

I hope all of us survive and continue with our traditional standard of living which we have been evolving over the last 1000’s of years.

I shall continue posting as long as I can, I will always fight against this invasion.

Crux of the Cuneiform

There was this one time when I stuck a thought into my cerebral anus, hey lay off okay..that was an accident, I was actually aiming for my nose, with an objective of cleaning the crud in the grey matter.

The logic was that the shortest distance between any two points would be a straight line. (That’s what everyone kept telling me when I was in school. Where was the theory of relativity, my teachers did not seem to be aware of this relativity stuff, where they born before relativity was postulated?)

Who knew that I would land up in thoughtful shit?

When I pulled my thumb out of my cerebral bum got your attention right, now let us move on to the funny stuff, enough already with the serious stuff.

Let me delve a little into the mystic symbolisms of what is and what should be.

The balance in life is the coexistence of this duality; to have these two in balance is bliss, the yin and yang, the linga and the yoni, truth and the lie, life and death.. You get the picture right?

You could call it the "secret code",GOD had given us to figure out the universal laws. Hey this must be what people call as hidden in plain sight. HE made everything in two's and where there was only one, HE made a complimentary receptacle (!?) (need to follow this thought further on its own i.e. the complimentary receptacle part of it)

Man seems to have caught onto the concept accidentally, and one of the material manifestations of using this "secret code" is visible in binary mathematics and its usage in what else, computers. (the guy who figured this out must be a mutant)

Have you observed the pace at which life has started moving in the last 10 years, is it because we have had a glimpse of the "truth" and HE has decided that we are ready for the far future? Are we running too fast and heading up the evolutionary cycle at the speed of light(hoik hoik)or should the right word be extinction? Is the true reality of our existence going to be reveled soon?

Once upon a time, just a few years back, life used to be slow paced, people used to realize that they were growing old (painfully slowly), now you do not feel that you are growing old, but suddenly you find out that you have grown older by 5 - 10 years.(where in the hell have I been for last 3600 odd days?)

By "accidentally" latching onto the universal truth, has entire mankind moved from one plan of existence and reached some other parallel universe where time keeps flying ever faster.

Close your eyes and ask someone to read the following few lines and you just imagine whatever is going to be described below.

Imaging a wonderful life, lot of joy, lot of fun, sex, food, parties, orgies, marriages, births, diseases, cures, health, wealth and death just the normal stuff which happens to everyone on a daily basis.

Now imagine that you go trekking and keep walking over mountains and hills and country side enjoying everything god has made available to you and finally one late evening you come to the edge of the world as you know it, you look up and see the bright stars above you and then suddenly the stars disappears and then there is a strange looking man in a surgical mask looking down at you, he reaches down with his tongs and picks up the Petri-dish injects a little bit of foul smelling liquid, swishes the Petri-dish around and places the dish back onto the storage tray and goes for his smoke break.

All confusion comes when you try to reduce the gap between "what is" and "what should be".

SHIT HAPPENS.

Musing caused by Raindrops

Not that I am pissed off about this…just curious, do others see what I see.

Last few months this has been bothering me, kind off shows the time I have on hand. This has nothing to do with anything, and has no universal significance, does not add value to anyone or any process. Would this be something which Arthur Dent would be bugged about?maybe …maybe not?

Have you noticed that if there are 6 urinals in a toilet, and all are unused, you either go to the one in the middle or the one on the extreme left or the extreme right?
(The 6 urinal is just an sample case study of my office loo, the theory seems to operate in otherframes of reference too, like in the airport loo)

The theory becomes slightly more complex when one ofthe urinal is in use...like so...

The new variable(y) entering the equation will ensure that he uses the urinal which is the farthest away from the one being used. Enter the third variable(z); this variable will make sure that there is a gap of at least one unused urinal on his left or the right.

And to get to the crux of the biscuit, when there is only one urinal, and the last variable is added into the equation, you would see an uncomfortable looking man furtively glancing around, wondering why fate has been so cruel to him.

I have seen a few men who decide to hold on to his "beliefs" and wait for the "comfort"zone rather than letting go.

The expression of pain on the "Judas" (*) during this"boot-up" time is priceless, (for everything elsethere is Master, right?)

Does modern man still have his caveman instincts? Isthis the territorial imperative at work? Not having spent much time with Dilbert, I am unsure if this has something to do with the mutation of the caveman instincts in modern man.

Like I said at the beginning, I am not pissed off at all, just curious.

DON’T PANIC.

Note : (*) Judas : The apostle who betrayed his divine master.