The Switch

They considered me foolish; they thought that I was growing soft in my head, that I was just plain nuts. And for a long time I did try and examine myself to see if what others talked about me was true.  I was undecided, unsure.  Everything was unreal. Was I mad, or was I the only sane one left in the town.

It has all started of one day while I was having a shower. A slight movement, on the periphery of my vision, made me swivel my head towards the shower door.

I could see nothing. I turned off the shower, and kept looking towards the door. Suddenly I see the Electric Switch wink at me. Man, I was tired, and I was seeing things.

I called out loudly; my soul mate rushed into the bathroom, and very concerned asked me what was up. I pointed to the Electric Switch and told her “That Electric Switch winked at me”

Smiling she said “James Adam Paul, This is not the time to get funny on me, I was getting the kids ready for the school and the bus would be reaching in another few minutes”

After she left, I kept looking at that Electric Switch for a long time. Nothing strange now, everything was the way it was meant to be. Was I nuts?

Throughout the day, this incident kept bugging me. My boss kept asking me if everything was alright, I guess I was not focused on my work, and my thoughts were showing an impact on my work. This was painfully brought up to everyone’s attention including my section supervisor, when I accidently shut down the corporate server. I guess the theme of the day was Electric switches.

 “Hell with it all”, I thought to myself, and took rest of the day off. With my boss yelling at me and everyone giving me dirty looks, I walked home. While, on the way home, I came across a near empty bar. I normally take the subway, and I had never walked past this bar before.

“No man’s Bar”, The “r” was missing between “o” and the “m”. All signs were there, this was the bar for me today, a “Noman’s bar”, this was just the place for me.

Since it was quite early in the day and I was not expected back at home till evening, I walked into Noman’s Bar. No one other than the bartender was around, and he was lost in his copy of “War and Peace”. And the brunette in the corner, staring into her mug.

Nodded a greeting to him, asked for a beer.

Had myself a couple of beers, felt good. Looked around after downing these mugs, and then things started going to hell, my private hell.

The jukebox started talking to me about my day, and she kept getting interrupted by the electric lights, the bar telephone kept shouting encouragement to me and kept asking me to keep my chin up.

I sat silent, expecting Bugs Bunny or Donald Duck to pop up any minute and talk to me.

I guess I was nuts.

‘cause neither the bartender nor the brunette looked up while all this was happening, either it was normal for them or I was the only one who could hear what was going on.

I walked out of the bar and started walking towards home, and the parked cars I kept passing kept “Howdy”ing me.

Reached home. My soul mate was out. I went back into the bathroom. My silent electric switch winked at me. And started talking, and I sat quietly and kept listening.

This is how it all started. Next day I went in for a medical evaluation.

No one in the hospital could convince me that it was all in my mind, you see, the ECG machine kept talking to me, while I was with the Doctor. Kept telling me funny stories about the ‘good’ doctor. Just to check my sanity, ECG machine asked me to ask the doctor about the whisky he had in his office.

I asked the doctor about the quart bottle of whisky he had in his draw.  His face turned a couple of shades of purple before he spluttered on about getting back to my checkup. I did not ask him about him and his nurse.

So it was not just my imagination. Things were really talking to me.

This is how it all started. I do not know why I was the chosen one. There was nothing special about me, just an average guy doing average things.

Then one day, I hit the TV news. There was a homicide. I walked to the house where the  crime had taken place, and the electrical devices started talking to me.

The police had got a fingerprint which did not belong to anyone who was supposed to have been in the house. To cut a long story short, I talked to the chief of police of police and told him the name of the person who committed the crime. The figure prints matched and I became famous with the PD. A few more cases like this and someone in the PD must have got greedy and sold the information about who was solving the crimes for the police, to the press.

Press started comparing me to Noreen Renier.

Well, this is how my life was for a few years. I did my magic stuff, which seemed unbelievable to everyone. 

Had myself a steady income, which I kept parting with the Nomans bar.

Then the bells tolled for the last time on December 31^st and thus began the year 2012. I did not notice till around March of that year that I was hearing fewer machines talking to me. Not that I was worried or apprehensive, I was finding it pleasant that the incessant chatter was slowing down, was getting more sleep. Getting lost of sleep now.

Captain’s log Earth date 20-december-2012:

I woke up with an eerie silence encompassing me. The normal noises which one associates with urban living were missing, not that it struck me immediately as I woke up. The toothbrush rubbing against my teeth was a noise I was used to for all these years, with my eyes closed, while brushing today I did not hear it. After a few strokes, my mind kind of kicked on and indicated to me that something was wrong. I open my eyes; I see in the mirror that the toothbrush was where it was supposed to be, but no sound. I experimented by moving my hand a few time around my teeth…still no sound.

I opened the tap, no sound of water gurgling out, though I could see the water flowing and hitting the sink. Oh boy was my first thought, next I spoke out aloud; I could hear the voice only in my head. It felt as if my ears were plugged in with a fat roll of cotton.

Locked myself up in the room. Walked around in a daze most of the day, the devices which talk to normal humans were not speaking with me the ipad’s , the stereo, the radio all were silent.  Don’t know when I went to sleep again.

The next day was supposed to be 21^st December 2012. I wake up when I feel something crawling on my arms, I open my eyes and I don’t seem my familiar roof over my head, instead bright sunlight, birds chirping, air that smelled green fresh, insects making their gentle sounds, animals neighing, barking, meowing. Grass under my body instead of my bed, me naked, no cloths.

I look around and I see no neighborhood, no buildings, no cars, no bikes, no people, just trees all around, and the sweet green fresh air. I walked the whole day; there were no sound which mankind makes in an electronic world, a world of devices and crowds. 

The animals were friendly is what is remember thinking when I came across them. They had no fear of humans; there was no aggression in them. I kept trying to understand why I kept thinking that the animals loved me. I walked for so long that day, I did not feel tired at all, but I did not meet, hear, or see another human.

When the sun finally set, I chose a spot to lie down. As I lay down I felt a slight soreness where my ribs end. The flesh felt sore, the skin felt new. I thought to myself, that there was a rib missing.

I loved the blissful feeling, as if I was part of a new beginning.

As I slowly dropped off to sleep with this thought in my mind, I remembered Genesis 1:26. I smiled finally, knowing that tomorrow was the start of a new day and I would be on a quest, a quest for my Eve. 

And I told myself, “Adam, this time around, no apple trees and no snakes.”

john braid and the bean

nothing has ever scared me before in my life. my name is John Braid and i am 6 feet tall and weigh about 190 pounds on a bad day.

it was the 4th of may, when the strangeness in my life started. with an innocuous packet which was left at my door step. I opened the simple looking packet. if i had know what i know about it now, i would have run miles away. i enjoy running, i run to live and lived to run.

let me tell you about this packet, it was wrapped up in a plain brown paper, no tape, just tied with a plain thin string.

i opened the packet, i found a can, on which was written a simple note.

"please open the top and pour a little bit of water and do this for the next 5 days"

so me being a curious kind of chap, did as was asked of me. even then i had a feeling in my stomach, a sixth sense, which said run away. and me being a little hard headed, ignored all the signs.

the first few days nothing much happened, on the fifth day, the surface of the mud in the can broke a little. the next day i could see a little bit of green, popping out.

over the next four days the plant kept growing at a furious pace. it looked like a normal bean plant.

the eleventh day was when things started getting really hairy, and i mean literally hairy, green and hairy. that morning when i walked into the room where the plant was growing, i did a double take. the room was mostly covered in some long hairy green strands. it was growing in different part of the room, and mostly on things made of wood or cloth.

there was a movement in the room, when I quickly turned towards the movement, I saw the plant swaying towards me. and the movement had some amount of feeling, and i perceived it as being a little violent. I drew back a little and reassessed the room, and i was wondering if the movement was a trick my mind was playing with me.

everything looked normal, except for the green growth. i went out and got a cleaner and cleaned up the place. made a mental note to get some gardening tools which i could use to trim the plant. i moved out.

the next day, the door to the room seemed jammed, as if something soft was wedged against the door from the other side, as i was running late for work, with just a perplexed look at the door i moved out of the house.

that evening the air in the house was smelling a little musty, and at the same time had a kind of greenish smell, like stale cut grass. after a few minutes of sniffing this air, i started feeling very satisfied as if i had all my needs taken care of. kind of like a breast fed baby, i went to sleep, thinking to my self that this sure was the most wonderful birthday i have had.

i wake up in a white padded room, as i looked around i was amazed to see that i was wearing a nice and clean straight-jacket. sitting and observing me across the room was a nice looking doctor. she gave me a disinterested look and looked back at the notebook in which she was writing something.

when i spoke, she was startled, almost dropping the stuff she was holding.

she stuttered, and finally gets a grip of her emotions, she started talking to me and questioning me. at the end of the discussion i figured that i had lost about 3 months of my life, i had no clue as to what i had been doing during those 3 month.

the doctor let me know that, i was one of the most wanted man in america, and about to be executed for a few terrible murders and other disgusting activities performed on the victims. she was studying me for about 3 days,as i seemed to have been in a fix!

i had been captured 3 days ago and brought to this asylum. i had been in a deep sleep for the last three days.she gave me a long list of things done to me , during these 3 days, and i looked down.

i started laughing , and have never stopped laughing since.

sometimes , amidst my laughter, i wonder if i had paid attention to my sixth sense,kicked the can and run like hell,if i would have been in this hell.

you see, all she kept asking me and wanted to know was how and why my hair, my skin and in fact every part of my body was green, except my legs which were brown and deeply rooted in the floor of the asylum and growing deeper every day.

The Deep Pit

For a quite few million years, it had lived a lethargic existence, vaguely aware of its dark surroundings, but not very concerned or worried, but just a dull awareness that it seemed to the most intelligent organism in its environment.

It was not threaten, by what it could sense outside it immediate environment. All it could sense was lot of turmoil, lot of heat and tremendous amounts of violence. Its slumber was deep, and often, a nap would be about a million year, a deep sleep would be 10’s of million years.

Once in a while, It would try and remember, remember its past, the reason for Its existence. But it was not very bothered, beyond the fact that it was not of this planet, and it had travelled for millions of year though the cold and silence of the space encased as part of an asteroid. The asteroid had crashed on to a hot planet. Over a period of time the crater caused by the asteroid was partly filled up, filled up initially with the molten material, and latter on with organic material.

It feed on all the material filling up the crater while it was sleeping, slowing absorbing the matter through its multipurpose exoskeleton, and growing in size from a relatively small creature to a huge animal. The eons were moving on the surface of the planet, the planet was evolving and from tiny one celled organism to huge dinosaurs , the ecology of the planet was experimenting, creature were being brought into existence and getting taken out of existence. None of these intermediate creatures disturbed It.

Then about 2000 year ago, a tiny slice of time for It, It became aware of a species evolving and who seems to be progressing on a path which It defined as a potential treat for It’s existence in the future. For the first time It started to move its huge body in the crater and like a large slug, wriggled to the surface of the crater so far above it, it took the creature a long time to reach the top, as it had to push through all the matter which has filled up in the crater.

It looked around, and was not very impressed with what it saw on the surface of the planet. After laying on the surface for some time and sending out energy from its feelers on the surface of its skin, It was able to sense that though this species was intelligent, it was far from being a treat to it. It goes back into its crater, and this time It ensures that the path to the surface is kept clean.

But the rains and the melting snows of the surrounding mountains soon filled up the crater, but this did not reduce the efficiency of its senses, as it was in tune with the energy of the water.

For a further short period of time there was nothing which excited the thoughts of It.

It felt the electromagnetic waves for the first time and It was really startled by this sudden spurt of energy, from an unknown source, and was immensely excited and at the same time it triggered of a wave of anxiety, an emotion it was feeling for the first time, and It translated it into something which it could understand, fear, which in turn was converted to anger.

It came out of the pit once more. When it start sensing the surroundings, It was shocked when it compared the current readings to that of the last visit, the entire topography was different, one species seems to have become a dominant species and they were dominating the environment in a very suppressive and destructive way. It sent its sensors further out and it could sense that out there it was even more of the same, but a surprising fact it had observed was that the development was not even all over, there were a few patches of planet which seem to be more evolved than the other, and the species seems to feel that it was the only intelligent species in this universe. It made a specific note of this disparity as a possible strategy to overcome the species and return to being the true lord of this planet.

It was really angry now.

It went on a rampage, in its immediate vicinity. Miles of forest around its habitat was vaporized, vaporized totally, as if they had never been in existence.

This event triggered off alarm bells at the various governments and military headquarters, as their different satellite captured this release of enormous electromagnetic radiation, with no accompanying recording of terrestrial tremors, in any of the recording stations at different parts of the world. The geniuses of each country were salivating with the thoughts of a new weapon system which they could build if they got their hand on this technology, and the governments of every country was worried that the country in which this event had taken place was testing out a new weapon, and felt threatened.

All of them focused their satellites on the spot where the event had taken place. All they could see at the epicenter was a deep crater; the devices measured the depth of this crater to about half a mile. The government of the effected country asked the United Nations for help, and a task force of scientist was assembled from all over the world. They reached the place late in the evening, with the best and the latest measuring instruments and probes-electronic and otherwise.

First night all their instruments recorded was an initially vague movement, which all the wisest men on earth could not be sure if it was a movement at all. And then a burst of static on all the recording equipment in the entire spectrum of the electromagnetic waves, and this was discerned only from the remote sensors recording units, the equipment on site was totally melted and fused, nothing could be salvaged from them.

After a hiatus of about two weeks when the brains had sat down to figure out the way forward, they came up with a slightly different plan to monitor the crater. The word was put out to the powers that be that they needed a launch freighter space craft, while this was being organized the scientists had in the meantime started work on a satellite version of the monitoring equipment and were programming the software to control all the measuring instruments.

This was launched into orbit without much fanfare or noise, and the equipment was positioned in space above the crater, in the movement of crisis the brains had come up with a system of camouflaging the electronic waves used to monitor, as normal cosmic waves.

Over a period of time they found out amazing amount of information about It, without It being aware of it. The humans called it the E.S, a play on E.T. and E.S stood for Enormous Slug. Guess the brains are entitled to be childish. The information on the E.S was slowly building. The brains, they had initially guessed that this could be a non terrestrial being, were thrilled when this was confirmed and supported by the bio-geneticist.

What now? Was the question flowing through the minds.

Then suddenly for a period of about three years there was absolutely no activity observed at the crater, it was as if nothing had ever happened.

It was tapping into the electronic networks of the planet, and imbibing a vast amount of data about the planet, info about evolution of science, philosophy, generally about everything. No security device detected the intrusion by It.

With a total awareness of what the dominant organism of this planet was capable of and with the knowledge of what minerals and technology the planet possessed.

It could project into the future to see what that organism was capable of and It saw that there was a medium probability that the planet would be wiped out of existence.

It made a plan.

It thought through what it wanted to do. Then it made its intentions know to the dominant species, by modifying and rebroadcasting all the television and satellite transmission to the entire world from the pit. It gave the world 24 hours to vacate a large area around Its pit.

The people were not ready. It made its move.

Its craft took off from earth in a huge blast.

Many years have passed since, the few of us who survive, still remember the noise which reverberated around the world that day.

That was the day Yellowstone Park got vaporized and turned into a huge sheet of glass, and that was the day earth tilted off its axis by about 4 degrees.

(The True Lord of Earth)

Alchemist - 2

It all started on a dark and gloomy night when my mother was serving her customers in her tavern, the usual rounds of shredded horse meat and warmed teflonian beer. In walked a tall gangolian warlord, looking weary from the latest crusade wars.

This warlord went by the name of Dreadgranger.

I remember my mother telling me as I grew older, that for some strange reason, she was strangely attracted to the warlord, and this attraction was tinged with awe and respect along with a bit of sexual stirring.

Lord Dreadgranger was one of the most cunning and vicious warlord, who had made his bones in the First Rebellion. The killer and the most dreaded young warrior.

It was on this night that I was referring to, when my mother was with the warlord in the night, and eighteen months latter, I was born. It was also the last time my mother saw my father. The very next day to my birth, my father disappeared forever. Over the years my mother kept getting news about my father from the traveling minstrels , and she recorded all the adventures of my father so that she could share this with me when I grow up.

The genetic material of my father was so strong that even as a child I was a soldier. My skills in tracking and hunting were renowned. I could feel the killing lust flow in me even then.

I was considered to be one of the most vicious of the hunters known to the Bragalians. This reputation I had got when I was 3 years old.

At around this time I came across a strange monk , Crepovani. He was a silent one, real quite. For some strange reason when one night in the tavern, he took me to his table and started communicating with me silently. This was the my first feel of telepathic powers of the Creambic mystics.

My blood froze and my heart stood still for a moment when I felt the monk's powers, but at the same time I strangely understood that he was restraining himself , and displaying just a fraction of his magic.

After this strange encounter, the monk left. And a few weeks later he just turned up at the tavern
and I followed him. I was initiated into the arcane art of Creambic mystics. The next few years after I followed
Crepovani, was an intense learning experience. He took me on all his travels, and each minute of my life was a involved with learning. The arcane art of Creambic martial arts. Which involved the mind as much as the body. I had become invincible by the age of four.

I was initiated into a test of strength in the Creambic way, I fought the then champion of the Creambic clan and I beat him in a short time. The Creambic elders silently applauded my skills in their telepathic way, and they spoke among themselves and observed that I would one day be the most dreaded warrior ......

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Alchemist

it was a few years ago while i was still a bumbling youngster, in the prime of my life, more spirit than sense, that i came across a bamboo hut during a walk through the forest.

on my first glance, i disregard the place as a potential night shelter for myself. the structure looked too flimsy to offer any protection from what i was expecting latter on that night. the dark clouds looked foreboding.

while i was walking away , I heard a sound which chilled my blood. made me quickly glance behind me. I giggled when I realized that it was just a strange man laughing crazy, it was a crackling rising laugh, it sounded out worldly. It was only latter that he told me that I was the first human he had seen in a number of years, strange.

i wondered what was wrong with him. He started talking to me. At least I think he was trying to talk to me. But all I heard was strange rumbling sounds coming out of the man.

i decided to stay there that night and see what this was all about.

after a few day I slowly began to understand the words the man was talking, was surprised to realize this was a language I had spoke from the time of my birth. He started telling me his story and what a strange story it was.

what I am putting down today, on the papyrus is just part of this man’s strange story.

“I do not remember the name my biological parents had given me” he told me. “as far as my memory goes I remember being called the Alchemist” . I shuddered when I heard this. For this was a name which I have heard brave men whisper in dread.

this dread was not the dread mere mortal feel. This was a supernatural dread. A dread which is allied with the night terrors.

he continued “I was given the name Alchemist by my master, when I was less than a year old, for he had sensed and seem what my future holds for me”

“from then on, all that my master talked to me was on how to awaken the strange power which were innately part of my life. These were magical moments of my life, the joy of learning the secrets of controlling my telekinetic and clairvoyance powers”

“I became really good with the sword and I had gone beyond what the best of the martial arts students knew, why I had gone beyond what the masters knew of martial arts, and all this before I was 5”.

(click for chapter 2)

The answer is 42

the world being taken over google style. "rumours mount over googles internet plan" read more about it here.
Technology, Technology news, Times Online

taking off on THAT article, my thoughts follow, Mr.Google please note this is just my creation and i own all rights to these ideas, and if you plan to use any of these you, i am ready to license these ideas to you on a per click basis.(i am launching mysense ad revenue sharing product)

i have the inside dope on the what the google wizards are working on for the future , these are a few of the essential technologies they are working on

a) hyper-drive - essential tool for delivering space travel at the click of a button, will be available as a beta download by the January 2010,
minimum system requirements: G-o/s (google-operating system version 12, patched for hyper-jumps), google space cube human interface hardware, memory requirement : enough to remember history of the last 2 millennium. disk capacity : latest adenine-thymine drives with atleast 240 strands of unused DNA.

b) positronic brains - why hire smart people when you can design brains which are built for one purpose ie. work on world domination by google. the positronic pathway are already in pre-alpha testing. the design document states,that, the positronic brains are not ment to be mobile and walk off from the Google headquarters, so they have skipped the robot exo-skeleton in the design. this is just the BRAINS. wonder if this will close the gates for bill.

c) "Google Guide to the galaxy" : they have already tied up with douglas adams descendants for royalties, they would pay 1 cent for every million copies of the guide sold. this will be the definitive guide to everything this and that side of "The Deep Web", the marketing department is working on a galactic release of "the Guide" (a few of you may have worked on a new tool recently, "Google earth" this is the precursor to the ultimate Guide, thank you for contributing your time in the development of "The Guide")

"Don't Panic: Google instead"

The answer is still 42.

happy trails (comet)

journal entry dated 19th January 2006 :
nasa dc-8 stardust mission was a great success. all initial reports from johnson space center looked great. the scientists were ecstatic and happy, they all got down to analysing the collected samples.


journal entry dated 29th January 2006:
on the NASA website. the normally immaculately dressed doctors, i have been noticing over the past few days, were looking totally in disarray, i was wondering why. was the stress of the project getting to them? No one in NASA seems worried.




journal entry dated 31st january 2006:
i push my wheel chair to the tiny window of my small apartment, and look out of my window. curious. the normal bustling streets below seems to be looking deserted, with just a few people walking around in a hapazard manner. i ignore this, thinking that this might be because of the usual political protests, police blocking movement into the street.




journal entry dated 4th february 2006:
the unsual silence around the apartment and the streets were slowly getting to me. all my server logs and the hit counters on my webpage seem to be indicating that web traffic was normal, the visitor patterns were looking absolutly normal. my dread is increasing, though there is nothing to indicate that anything is amiss.




journal entry dated 5th february 2006:
something is up, it was not just me that has been observing the changes that have been happening. a few of the bloggers whose posting i persue deligently, from yesterday,have been commenting or making observations along the same lines as me. i am perturbed.




journal entry dated 9th february 2006:
i have not posted much on my journal in the last few days, i have been actively pursuing my investigations on the web,(i wish i had not given up on my television, when it broke down about 2 years back). my investigations confirm that something is wrong. it looks like people are disappearing in large numbers, and this seems to be instantanous. some of my reports indicate that there have been cases when two people are talking, one end goes silent,suddenly. this report was curious, when the people at the other end of the telephone get this checked, they see that the telephone is lying in a reducing puddle of bluish white frothy gel.




Journal entry dated 4th may 2006:
The airwave are dead, there are no transmission happening, my wi-fi hotspot is dead. The only people left on the world seem to be bloggers and blog readers. The heart wrenching appeal posted on boing boing to all the bloggers to meet where ever they are and get together and procreate to create the future generations seems to have signaled the end of the “invasion� of what the bloggers called the gillette virus.




Journal entry dated 15th may 2006:
This would be my last post to my journal for a long time. I am getting out of this city, my leg seems to have healed quite well and I am able to walk and climb quite well. I am planning to hit the hills and live off the land for as long as I can. There must be a reason why I had a broken leg just before the dc-8 missions was completed. The enforced seclusion with only my desktop as company for the 20 odd days before the break seems to have built up my immunity to the gillette virus, one theory going around, talks of the radiation from the monitor generating immunity in a person…who cares now. I have a higher purpose in life and I am going to find out my purpose.

in the beginning

I wanted to get a feel of how it would have been for a person writing the bible. since i was not there at that time, i thought i would kind of write something along the lines of genesis, but with what is happening currently in the world.
there is no disrespect/intent to anyone or anybody, and this is just an attempt at trying my hand at writing. man it is really difficult, as would see i start off with a lot of fire and than as it goes on further, you would see that i am kind of loosing steam.

well here goes nothing.

1:1 In the beginning Man created the DARPANET and the Private net.

1:2 DARPANET was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Man moved upon the face of the ip addresses.

1:3 And Man said, Let there be connectivity: and there was global connectivity

1:4 and Man saw the connectivity, that it was good; and Man divided the connectivity from the darknet.

1:5 and Man called the connectivity internet, and the other he called peer-to-peer. and the downloads and the uploads were the first day.

1:6 and Man said, let there be firewalls in the midst of the ip addresses, and let it divide the ip addresses from the ip addresses.

1:7 and Man made the firewall, and divided the ip address which were under(behind) the firewall from the ip addresses where were outside the firewall; and it was so.

1:8 and Man called the firewall dmz. and the downloads and the uploads were the second day.

1:9 and Man said, the the ip addresses under the dmz be gathered together unto one place, and let the approved ip's appear; and it was so.

1:10 and Man called the approved ip address static; and the gathering together of the ip addresses called he DNS; and Man saw that it was good.

1:11 and Man said, let the approved ip address bring forth browsing, the content-filter yielding seed, and the approved urls yielding websites after his kind, whose urls is in itself, upon the static ip's:and it was so.

1:12 and the static ip brought forth browsing, and the content-filter yielding seed, and the approved urls yielding websites after his kind, whose urls is in itself, upon the static ip's:and Man saw it was good.

1:13 and the downloads and the uploads were the third day.
1:14 and Man said, let there be valid ip's in the firewall of the dmz to divide the internet from the darknet; and let them be for proxy's, and for 404, and for days, and years;

1:15 skipping from here till 1:19
1:20 and Man said, let the flowing packets bring forth abundantly the moving packets that hath ip header info, and 802.11g that may fly above the earth in the open firewalls of the DMZ.

1:21 and Man created great operating systems, and every living pc that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind and every 802.11g packet after his kind: and Man saw that it was good.

1:22 skipping to verse 26

1:26 and Man said, let us make microsoft in our image, after out likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish(desktop pc user) of the sea, and over the datapackets over the air and over the sun's and novell, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

1:27 skipping to verse 28

1:29 and Man blessed them(microsoft), and Man said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the consumer of the operating systems, and over the 802.11g of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

I have seen the future

And it scares me.

Post reading the serious stuff in today’s news paper (the cartoon's lah), I turned to the crappy stuff which comes along with the news paper. Lo and Behold, what do I see?

I see a future which John Connor’s had. (Remember Sara Connor’s son? From the Terminator movies?)

Four bits of information has hit me today, I think I will take half a byte and make it into a blog.

One : the availability of a virtual girlfriend on a mobile phone
Two : a product called de Bono Thinking 24x7™
Three : work going on in the field of tactile recognition and force feedback
Four : the work Honda is doing on robotics

I can see that you are wondering as to where I am going with these little piggies.

With all kind of mergers and acquisitions happening around, at such an hectic accelerate pace I might add, how long do you think it will be before all these technologies belong to bill gates (or who ever else is there in the future) ?

When this happens, you will have an Asimo, running dBT 24x7™ having full functional tactile recognition system (with force feedback of course) and who talks intelligent.

This by itself is not scary, but envisage a future filled with such Replicants? You get it now?

Anyone remember the movie “Blade Runner”?

Anyone’s thoughts went to Isaac Asimov when reading this? And did the book “I, Robot” pop into your mind?

I hope the guys who would be working on the future “Replicants” remember the three laws.

There already seems to be dissent on the three laws of robotics.

I have seen the future and it works.

Atlantis discovered and the Mars Farts

From the beginning of the recorded human history there was this talk of the lost continent of Atlantis. I believe that this is true.

I also believe that we have been looking at the wrong place for the lost continent, and I believe that we have been looking for the wrong object.

I am putting forward two pieces of information, based on which I will draw up a potential hypotheses and a loosely woven story as to what happened millions of years ago.(but i must confess that this is all just part of my collective subconscious and is not based on any personal experience or any direct interaction or observation)

The first piece of information:

Quoting from a website "Plato in 350 B.C described Atlantis in various dialogues as per his descriptions the Atlanteans were a wealthy, successful, politically advanced and militarily powerful society that overrun Europe with their armies, being only defeated and repulsed by the Greeks. Shortly afterwards an earthquake caused Atlantis to sink beneath the ocean. Plato recounts the story of Egyptian priests who 200 years earlier had reportedly described Atlantis as a powerful island empire seeking to dominate the Mediterranean world more than 9,000 years before Plato's time."

The second piece of information:

Between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter there is something called the asteroid belt, this is the largest collection of asteroids orbiting our Sun. Hundreds of thousands of asteroids, none with a diameter of over 1,000 kilometers, and only sixteen of them over 240 km, spin around the Sun.

The hypotheses :

In the vast seas of our solar system there existed a planet called Atlantis, this between Mars and Jupiter. This planet was extremely wealthy, successful, politically advanced and militarily powerful society, with a very highly advanced science and weapon technologies.

The scientists of Atlantis were monitoring a planet( 3rd from the sun, around which 9 planets orbit, or is it ten?) they had big plans for this planet, the bio-probes they had sent from Atlantis were mixing all kind of organic chemicals and they landed up with a set of 4 new hydrocarbon chains, they called it Vadinine, Thighmine, Sitosine, Gauvanine(over thousands of years the true names have been lost and we now know then under a different name, Watson and Kirk almost got it right).

One of the pointy hat Johnnies started mixing and matching these 4, threw in little bit of electricity and voila, life was born and things have been evolving every since.

In the meantime there were signs of impending doom on Atlantis, there was a certain mutant strain of a virus which was slowly wiping out the entire race of Atlanteans (the 3rd rock infection, they called it, 'cause this was imported from the 3rd rock from the sun, duh!).

A few Atlanteans decided that it was time for some of them to move out of the home planet and get to a safe place (of course after getting vaccinated and getting necessary custom clearances). They decided on this blue planet covered with H20. And they decided to call it Earth.

At first there was light! (while you read the below, keep your copy of Genesis open next to you, you will be amazed at the similarities in thought process)

A limited number of people (you can guess the demographic profile of these guys right? Guys like Atlantean Bush, and other VVIP’s) get up on a spaceship and land up on planet Earth.

In the mean time back on Atlantis, the crazed mob (the universe is such a small place,after all) decides to hijack the most powerful weapon on Atlantis, and after the capture they accidentally set it off (there was this one button on the bomb which said "do not touch" and you know what happens when someone tells you not to do something, somethings never change) and blew the entire planet of Atlantis into tiny pieces of rock, these rocks still orbit around in the solar system between Mars and Jupiter, if you look closely, you may find a few calcified skeletons too, one of them would be having a smiling face and would be holding a piece of metal and a plastic button on which the words "Do not touch" is written in bold red letters.

There is this one theory that goes to explain why the guy pressed the button,the theory goes that the 3rd rock infection made the Atlanteans color blind(this has never been conclusively proved due to the lack of willing atlanteans for the study) and this guy thought that pressing this button would get him a cup of coffee.

The Atlanteans who have traveled to Earth were heart broken that the mother planet was lost forever( and they cursed the day coffee was discovered).

Over the next thousands of years they start interacting with the Neanderthal man and the Homo sapiens, and they decided that homo sapiens had a better chance of evolving into something worthwhile. They terminated (with extreme prejudice) the Neanderthal man in a shameful black bag operation and then the homo sapiens flourished.

They kept feeding in technological inputs to homo sapiens. Atlanteans indulged in some serious R&R (what is now called as getting a nookie or a quickie) with the locals, this accounts for a few deviants in the homo sapiens race, guys like Genghis khan, Einstein etc. You can guess the other folks on earth who carry the original Atlantean genes.

Somewhere during this time (give or take a million years) they decided to clear out the dino’s from planet earth,(there you see, one more, till now, unexplained mystery solved, the stuff about ice age and meteorite striking the earth were just cover stories, (the file for this operations ("Operation Medium Rare") will be open for public reading in another 2 million years).

The debauchery recorded here are so shamefull, the entire race has still not forgotten this big party which happened a few million year back, and they shudder when then think of all the dino steaks they had that shameful day.

Some of the Atlanteans on their R&R(they liked their scotch neat) kept talking of their lost planet, and when they were sober, using simple analogies they explained to the Homo sapiens about Atlantis, they told stories about their lost planet. The homo sapiens were finding it difficult to understand what planets were, or what an Mass Degenerating Weapon was (WDM, guys do you see what is happening? not much has changed), the Atlanteans used examples of an island in the middle of the sea, stuff the homo sapiens could relate to. The homo sapiens were told that the this island disappeared in an earthquake.

The homo sapiens started inducting this into their bedtime stories and the legend of the Island of Atlantis was born.

Just to record a few famous atlanteans who are still part of our collective subconscious , remember

- Ra the Egpytian sun god
- Zeus
- Apollo
- Hercules
- Atlas
and guys like that.

if you research deeply you would find similar characters appearing in most of the earth's religious folklore.

p.s. the methane emission on mars, makes me think that something bad is going on,on mother earth, are the original Atlanteans moving onto Mars from earth? about the methane signature observered on Mars, was this an accidental leak from the sewage system of an Atlantean colony on Mars. Time will tell.

signing of for now, earth date feb 21,2005

Tread softly earth children

(This entry has been encrypted with a human DNA sequence, only genuine human would be able to read it, THEY would not be able to read or decipher the contents of this post, in fact this is one of the test which can determine who THEY are. If you see anything printed below this line then you pass)

THE END.

(The above is what I would like to call the sentry sentence or the second level of alien defence.)

The END.

It is my solemn duty to bring to the attention of all human kind that we have aliens living amongst us. By the end of this note you will have irrefutable proof of their existence.

Let me begin at the beginning, so that all of you fellow humans can understand my profound and dismaying discovery.

I have realized that all the movies on aliens, all the books on aliens, all that erik von daniken had written was true. It is only those few amongst us who have a highly developed sense of the unknown and true cognitive abilities, have intuited the state of affairs. All the humans who have intuited it earlier have been strangely been keeping quite. Is it that these humans are being threatened? I do not know.

I am compelled by my conscience that I revel what I know,for the greater good of human kind.

I shall just put down what I have seen and understood, you be the judge.

I had always wondered about this guy in the office he did not seem to “normal” as defined by us. He used to keep looking dreamy and he was always smiling, he was always happy, to top it up he used to be helpful to others.

I talked to him on a number of occasions around the office coffee machine, when ever he spoke I used to feel very uncomfortable, those ugly thoughts of his filled with unnatural feeling towards others. He talked of people being in love with everyone, helping everyone. A place were no fossil fuels were burnt, the air was breathable, no disease, no inequality. The worst thing he suggested was that all of us have the inherent right to remain happy through out our life.

He started quoting from some books; he used to call them Bible, Koran, Gita and a lot more books whose names I have purged from my shivering mind.

The final proof of this species living amongst us.

Do you recollect my first post(“Musing caused by a Raindrop”)? Tthe simplified theory of bathroom(life) usage states that if there is an option, two men would always like to pee with at least one free urinal between them.

This guy in the office always used to stand in the urinal next to me EVERYTIME, I mean every time. Even if the whole place was empty, he would choose the urinal next to me and be happy about it.

This is when it struck me, that there is something weird going on.It was worse than what I had thought earlier.

This was the last straw that broke this camels back, and I stopped being seen with him and I stopped talking to him. What would people say if they saw me talking to him?

I started observing other people more closely, and strangely enough I found similar sort of behavior among different people, I was now getting scared. There were so many people who did not mind peeing, standing next to each other, even though there were other free urinals.

“What is happening around here?” were my confused thoughts.

Fundamental theory of life (unified theory of peeing) states that

"NO HUMAN CAN STAND NEXT TO ANOTHER HUMAN AND PEE, EVEN THOUGH THERE IS SO MANY UNSUED URINALS IN THAT PLACE."

I rest may case.

I hope all of us humans can gather strength and group together and defend against the coming Wave of happiness, freedom, truth, love, equality, peace and other similar unnatural thoughts.

I hope all of us survive and continue with our traditional standard of living which we have been evolving over the last 1000’s of years.

I shall continue posting as long as I can, I will always fight against this invasion.